joy, today.
some reflections to bring you hope, and a few exciting updates.
As many of you know, I currently work at Trader Joe’s as one of their sign artists. I’ve written about the immense gratitude I have for this job- for all it’s taught and given to me- despite not being the path I had in mind. When I’m not drawing baguettes chilling in pool inner-tubes, or blocks of cheese singing into a microphone, I get to work out on the sales floor for an hour or two of my day. It breaks the shift up nicely and allows me to get some solid human interaction time with plenty of strangers- especially on register. Personally, I love this. It invigorates me somehow, slinging groceries over a nautically-themed register while striking up conversation with someone I don’t know. There’s always the classic questions: Did you find everything okay? Do you need bags today? By this point those words seem to just fall out of my mouth. But then…there’s my favorite question: what’s bringing you joy lately?
I initially began asking this question when I first moved to New York- I was quite depressed for a good year and a half after moving here. I figured that, if throughout my day I could ask other people what is bringing them joy, then maybe that joy would compound and ultimately rub off on me. And, it certainly did. Quite consistently, I would end my shift feeling exponentially lighter than I had when it began. My perspective would shift from my big looming cloud of depression to the smaller, more present joys right in front of me. It didn’t make my depression go away or make it any less significant, but it made my day-to-day life so much more peaceful in a very genuine way. I also loved watching people’s faces light up upon hearing the question. They’d comment on how nice it felt to consciously think about such things. What always amazed me, too, was how many people are genuinely wanting to talk and have conversation. We just have to try opening the door if we want to. It’s also okay to not want to talk too, ofcourse! But in today’s world, we can be so wrapped up in what’s going on in our phones, or in the news, that we don’t even think to be present for what’s right in front of us. I struggle with this just as much as anyone.
I’ve continued to ask this question on register, yet over the last few years the initial response to my asking it has greatly changed. Instead of the usual curiosity and light that would spark in the faces of customers, it’s now met with a quizzical look and a furrowed brow. An expression that reads as some mixture of heartbreak, frustration, and comical disbelief. It’s been rare to get a response that doesn’t at first include something like, well it’s hard to feel much of that right now, or, that certainly feels hard to answer with the way things currently are. Or lastly, one I got today: that question honestly feels a little wrong to think about in times like these. My response to these kinds of statements is simple and honest: that’s kind of the very reason why I ask it!
It’s been so disheartening to experience the polarization, hatred, and pain in our country, in our world. I know we all share this feeling. To have tangibly witnessed and resonated with the growing number of heavy hearts, at my Trader Joe’s register of all places, has undoubtedly brought weariness to my spirit. And, I know we all share this weariness. It certainly makes sense that we feel this way- in general, things right now are quite devastating. It would be odd if we didn’t feel deeply discouraged by what’s happening. It’s that big looming cloud I mentioned earlier. But I’m not here to do what the news already does for us so effortlessly. Without diminishing the very real pain that exists around us, I hope to help us notice another kind of cloud. All while acknowledging the fact that, ofcourse, we’re all still standing under the big looming one. And we are doing so, together.
See, when I ask someone the joy question, there pretty much always lies an answer about joy after an initial nod to our shared sense of existential crises. Sometimes, people do not have an answer. And I always really appreciate that honesty too. In times of deep sadness, despair, or grief, it’s so human to feel this way. I could never judge someone for that response- I think it’s so brave to be honest to a stranger like that, and I think we all can resonate with that answer on certain days or in certain times. Responses like this remind me to be as tender as possible with strangers- no one truly knows what another is going through.
But let me again focus on the fact that, pretty much 99.99% of the time, someone always has a response to my question about what is bringing them joy. Just because there is so much heaviness in the world, it does not mean that we cannot or should not continue to seek joy, love, presence, and connection. In fact, one could argue that those very things are what we all need most. Those very things are an act of resistance themselves. Just because we feel and experience joy on a day to day basis does not mean that we are ignorant to the very real problems we all are facing as a country, as a world, and as a people. Our joy and our anger and our sorrow and our pain can all coexist. In fact, they must. The very real pains of this world will always be heavy. And more than ever, community is the most important thing- to ensure that no one carries that heaviness alone.
Nearly everyone does have something bringing them joy lately- the answers vary anywhere from my cat, I opened my eyes this morning, my son was born yesterday, or, the peach I ate earlier. Sometimes the joy is big and other times it’s so delightfully simple. The responses this past year or so have shown me that, it’s not that people aren’t feeling joy. It’s that our spirits, our minds, and our eyes are having a really hard time focusing on it. We instead focus solely on what’s heavy, on the big looming cloud. And like I mentioned earlier- it makes sense that we’re doing this- it would be odd if we weren’t. But what happens, when things get to a point where without even thinking, all we consume and expend is in relation to what is heavy? Sometimes it truly feels like a thick fog is suffocating our hearts, making us all too weary to even try to see the light. I get it. I feel it. I genuinely cried about it this morning- no joke.
But again- that’s not what this newsletter is about. I want to circle back to the answers I’d get about joy. You know: my cat, I opened my eyes this morning, my son was born yesterday, or, the peach I ate earlier. In such heavy times, and in such a heavy world, it is our greatest duty, now more than ever, to practice love, presence, and intention like it pays our bills. Your joy does not equate to ignorance or uncaring. There is genuinely so much beauty, goodness, and joy around us. I am so serious about this. Talk to your neighbor. Eat a meal you really love. Walk through the park on a beautiful day. Move your body and feel how powerful your breath is. Watch two friends meet or part ways at a coffee shop. There are beautiful acts of simple humanity everywhere- truly.
We can acknowledge what’s heavy while also choosing to place our focus on the small, every day things that we are grateful for. The things that fuel our very hearts to fight for what is right, and what is true. Do not let what is dark steal your joy- that is it’s very mission. Do not feel guilty for being joyful. Your joy is necessary to continue doing the good, important, work. To living a life that is meaningful, fulfilling, and rooted in love. Your joy is necessary to love others and yourself well. We can simultaneously contain love and rage- but love’s cup must always be the one that’s spilling over. I know this sounds contradictory, but love fuels rage and rage fuels love. Love is the fuel for everything. When our gratitude sits in the driver’s seat, we have more space and energy to actively change what is heavy. Our heartbreak, anger, and pain must still ride in the car, but they can be in the backseat most of the time. Maybe one can be passenger princess depending on the day. And heck, there are certainly days and/or times where heartbreak, anger, and rage steal the wheel. It’s only human. I’m glad it is.
The person whom I had mentioned earlier- who responded to my question with, that question honestly feels a little wrong to think about in times like these- and I had a very beautiful conversation after this. I responded, I know- that’s kind of why I ask it! And he said to me, that’s refreshing… a lot of things are bringing me joy actually- my son, cycling, being outside. And we proceeded to talk about those things. I bet his heart felt quite a bit lighter than it did when he first entered the store. Mine did. I do not share this anecdote to pat myself on the back, or make it out to seem like I’m some joy warrior. I struggle deeply with this too- it can be so hard to have hope or feel joy when our society, our world, and our news sources constantly rip it from us. But I’m trying. Every day, I’m trying to view my joy and gratitude as precious. It’s not a perfect practice- nothing ever is. But when we let ourselves feel joy and gratitude, we spread joy and gratitude. These things make a more tender community, which can create a more tender world. We must start loving and listening to those around us in order to create any change at all. Communion is truly in your community.
I hope that you found this somewhat helpful, or hopeful. I hope that in everything happening in the world, we not only mourn with the mourning, but that we too focus on the gratitude that envelops us every day. We just have to open our eyes to it. And when we do, we should talk about what we see. More and more people will begin to turn their gaze towards that gratitude, joy, and presence. It will spread hope even wider than our hearts could ever imagine.
Love always, all ways,
tara w.
BIG NEWS!
Okay y’all- I have some exciting announcements to share with you. Last month I wasn’t ready to share just yet, but now I can finally tell you about two of the three exciting things.
SOUL PIE IS OFFICIALLY AN LLC! I never thought in a million years it would get to this point, nor was this even the goal! I didn’t even start soul pie with a goal! But man oh man, this is happening! It’s been the most exciting leap and learning curve. The business world is such an unknown territory for me, but I feel so blessed to have gotten support and encouragement from friends and family throughout the process. In this time I’ve also learned that Visit the Business Wizard is a real sentence on the New York State government website, which absolutely slays. This new step is big and scary and beautiful and just the beginning of something that I think is going to be quite magical.
I’M COLLABORATING WITH A NATIONAL CORPORATION?! I cannot believe this is real? I feel so immeasurably blessed to share that I’m working with Loveweld- a jewelry company- to create a special series of prints inspired by their brand. About two months ago, a dear friend of mine who works for the company reached out to me, asking to see if I’d ever have interest in selling my prints at the store’s Soho location for a pop-up event. How kind it was of her to think of me, to support opportunities for my art- I am endlessly grateful for her and her thoughtfulness. Immediately, I said yes. But I had another idea- something bigger, regarding a more long-term collaboration. So, I asked my friend if she could maybe run it by her manager, who could run it by headquarters. I was almost entirely certain they’d say no, but what did I have to lose? About two weeks later, I got a message from my friend saying that headquarters actually loved my idea. Next thing I know, I was put in touch with their head of graphic design. Loveweld is a jewelry company, but they also sell small gifts, like socks and candles. And on a business call with them, I was informed that the company had been wanting to sell art for a while, but they hadn’t found an artist. I was told that someone at headquarters saw my art, really liked it, and wanted me to be that artist. And now here I am, being asked to create prints for the brand to sell in-store. I still cannot believe this?
I’ll be sure to keep you posted, but below are two of the prints I made in collaboration with them so far:
This rat is in honor of their latest “Passport Collection” in which each city with a Loveweld store has it’s own special charm. NYC’s is a rat with a diamond eye. This was my take!
This is a take I did on their logo design. They were very adamant that I do anything Loveweld related, but just in my style! How cool to even realize that I have a recognizable style!
I have so many ideas! There will hopefully be more Loveweld-inspired prints, but these are the two I had time to create before the event I have with them, which, is happening on the very day this reaches your inbox!
I feel so incredibly grateful and excited to be on this new journey, and I have a feeling it will grow into something really beautiful, even if I don’t completely know what that looks like yet. I do have one more incredible collaboration to share with you, but I’m going to wait until next month to share it with you!
I also am currently working on a website from which you’ll be able to order prints! I’ll definitely include details on that in next month’s newsletter as well. Yay!
Thank you so, so incredibly much for your support, and for being here. It’s been a truly wild and beautiful journey, and I certainly wouldn’t be here without the love and support of humans like you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Forever, thank you.
I am so proud of you!!!!!!